25 years and I still miss you badly

25 years ago you stood on your front porch and waved goodbye. Little did we realize it would be for the last time on this earth. I was 14 and my world shattered. I had never seen death lift his hand and take something or somebody I loved away. Shock, horror and dispair filled my life.
I grew older and named my son after you hoping he would be even partly the man you were to me. People could not spell or say his dutch name so they called him Jared or Jerry. Strong, dependable, always there to help me grow and learn, you were my mentor, my guidance and my friend. I know you would approve of my life and my choices. You always made your own way, first as a store keeper in Holland and later as a gardener here in Canada.
The day you died you asked me to look after your best girl -my grandmother. I told you I would till you could again. They were together holding hands when he died. He died a week short of their 55th wedding anniversary. I know the day she died you were there to take her hand and take her with you so you could be together in paradise. They showed me what partnership, love and marriage was about.
The day of his funeral this song came on the radio. It summed up so much to me. Today as we drove home from the cemetary it came on again. A message I know -that he is still here with me and we are never truly alone.

What happened here
As the New York sunset disappeared
I found an empty garden among the flagstones there
Who lived here
He must have been a gardener that cared a lot
Who weeded out the tears and grew a good crop
And now it all looks strange
It's funny how one insect can damage so much grain

And what's it for
This little empty garden by the brownstone door
And in the cracks along the sidewalk nothing grows no more
Who lived here
He must have been a gardener that cared a lot
Who weeded out the tears and grew a good crop
And we are so amazed we're crippled and we're dazed
A gardener like that one no one can replace

And I've been knocking but no one answers
And I've been knocking most all the day
Oh and I've been calling oh hey hey Johnny
Can't you come out to play

And through their tears
Some say he farmed his best in younger years
But he'd have said that roots grow stronger if only he could hear
Who lived there
He must have been a gardener that cared a lot
Who weeded out the tears and grew a good crop
Now we pray for rain, and with every drop that falls
We hear, we hear your name

Johnny can't you come out to play in your empty garden